Qualities Men Look For Before They Commit – How to Get a Boyfriend Pt. 2

“I will not be another flower picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget.” – Erin Van Vuren

When we say we want committment what we really want is to be loved. However, before we can experience true love we have to get past the barriers of entry. There are many different paths to get the love we deserve but through the journey, we have to remember to be authentic. The strategy is important but the man we want should fall in love with who we truly are if it’s going to last through the trials – not just the good times.

So use this advice to help you get the man you want to commit to you but don’t lose yourself in the process.

Here Are Five Qualities Men Look For Before They Commit – Pt. 2 of How to Get a Boyfriend

commit to her

1. Connection – she respects his hobbies and interests

Men crave a deep connection with a woman just like we crave that from them. Most men are looking for someone who listens to them and someone who shows that she has depth. So being present plus having ideas and opinions to add to the conversations you share together is essential and a deep desire. Try to focus on developing a genuine connection above all.

Another thing you should do is if the guy you’re interested in is passionate about something, show genuine interest in learning about it. Even if you know nothing about it just listening to him and asking questions is a great way to show your respect and interest in what he likes. The key is to be openminded and respectful.

To add on to that, if you ever get the opportunity try doing his hobby with him to help build on the connection.

2. Having a social life

If you have a good social life and close friendships it can actually raise your status in a guys eyes and make him want you more. Instead of dropping your friends for the guy you’re interested in try including him in your interactions with your friends. Show him your world and the people you care about.

Having a social life also shows that you have healthy priorities, you’re enjoying your life, and not waiting around for him to call or notice you again. Men want to date and commit to someone who will not depend on him for her happiness. Having a solid social life is a positive indication of your independence and self-sufficiency.

3. Confidence – She’s bold and goes for what she wants

One of the tops qualities men consider when they’re trying to figure out if they want to commit is a woman’s level of confidence. Men desire confident women with high self-esteem.

What exactly does that look like?

  • Not playing the victim or carrying baggage into your relationship  with him
  • Being optimistic and not letting fear stop you from going after what you want
  • Being bold and unapologetic when it comes to flirting and speaking his love language
  • Not changing who you are to please him or others

4. Positivity – a woman who’s kind and nurturing 

Keep the gossiping and complaining to a minimum. Focus on showing your kindness and seeing the good in other people. Men want to be with positive women who bring good to their life. Focusing on negatives is a major turnoff and a red flag.

You can demonstrate your kindness by how you treat the waitress at dinner, the sales clerk at Target, or by just doing something nice for someone. Just make sure you’re showing your true self. Don’t make it a facade just to get him to commit. Actually try to become a kind person at heart if you think you need to work on being that way. This way you can ensure the relationship is being built authentically.

5. She’s challenging

A man wants a woman who challenges him. So that means having standards and boundaries that are clearly defined and confidently enforced by you. Some ideas of this would be:

  • Not making yourself always available to him
  • Speaking up about what makes you uncomfortable
  • Focus on building and maintaining a multidimensional life. So having your own routine, friendships, traditions, and interests that are in place with or without him.

Men are often times used to women who don’t have a life or they put it on hold as soon as they get in a relationship. By not being this way you are being a challenge to him and trust me he likes it.


I hope you enjoyed this post and thanks for reading. Be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter for more relationship tips using the form below. Also, if you haven’t already check out part 1 of how to get a boyfriend here.

“Doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt the sun doth move; and doubt truth to be a liar: but never doubt I love.” – William Shakespeare – Hamlet

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